This is me breathing easy.. Ahhh. Finally.
Why you ask? Because I'm in love.................... with Jesus!
And nothing is going to bring me down now. Got a new song written, people cry when I sing it. Its God. Got some bad things in my life, but I'm still happy. It's God. Able to stand up and speak out. Its God.
And most of all, Im ready to record, to sing my music for the world. And when I make it, when I touch people's hearts, I know it will be God.
So who's coming with me? Let's make this world a difference place because God makes a difference in our lives.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Dump it on me..
Ha ha ha ha..
Just had to laugh at God's funny ways..
Ya know Im finding that when it all starts to go good and you feel like you got life figured you find out that you really know nothing.. Do i sound a bit discouraged? frustrated? confused? like running?
You bet.
Friends can ditch you, guys can say they don't love you back, your home life is crap, but the thing that will get you the most is when God points out that one area that was shoved back in the corner of your heart. The place you hoped you would never have to touch. And its the most sensitive.
Then when something comes up that you dont want to deal with, the other problems escalate it. And you break down. You cry because you don't know what to do other than to pray to God and trust that He takes it all. Even then, you just want to control the situation and try to put a band-aid on it. Alot of the times I try to talk it out with friends. But it never fixes the problem.
Sometimes I just want to run. I know it wont erase the past, but it makes the future brighter. There is a place I want to go. I know the family loves me, and I would be living with my best friend. In complete honesty the only thing holding me back from picking up and going is not having a source of income there to pay a cell phone bill. Maybe it would be a good challenge to see if I could go without a cell phone until I found a job. This place is like a second home, I'm so comfortable because its just filled with the love of God. And the amount that I would grow at that place is indescribable.
Overwhelmed. I guess thats the final description I will use for this crazyness. When all these emotions collide it would cause any normal person to go insane. But what I'm realizing is that I'm not like any other person. I am set apart, made special by God. I think that alot of the things that I have thought as just a part of life are actually a part of God's plan for my life. Like this vioce I have when I sing. I know it has the power to make people cry, and I'm still slightly afraid to use it because I don't want to see me cause anyone pain. Maybe they cry because the beauty of it.. I dont know. Now it really sounds like I'm boasting.. thats not my point. What I am trying to say.. trying.. is that I am amazed now with things that I thought were insignificant in the past.
This singing predicament is a whole other thing on my mind. It feels like the more comfortable I get with singing in front of people, the better it gets! I can only credit that to God for blessing me. But how am I supposed to use it? I mean now I am singing in church, writing my own songs. But where do I go? I have a friend who wants to record me, but then what would I do with it?
So many questions and the only anwers I'm getting seem to come from my head. Why is it I feel like I cant hear God talking? I mean I pray and I worship and I try to listen but still no signs, visions, prophecies. Maybe my heart is just to cluttered with junk.
I am making my goal to rearrange priorities in my life. Get things straightened out, and purify my heart so that I am open to hearing God.
Wow, this was a long rant/explanation/ whatever you would call this. I guess things just make sense to you when you get it out. Its bedtime. Typing all this out put me in a really good mood. I should do this more often.
Ha ha ha.. I love God.
Just had to laugh at God's funny ways..
Ya know Im finding that when it all starts to go good and you feel like you got life figured you find out that you really know nothing.. Do i sound a bit discouraged? frustrated? confused? like running?
You bet.
Friends can ditch you, guys can say they don't love you back, your home life is crap, but the thing that will get you the most is when God points out that one area that was shoved back in the corner of your heart. The place you hoped you would never have to touch. And its the most sensitive.
Then when something comes up that you dont want to deal with, the other problems escalate it. And you break down. You cry because you don't know what to do other than to pray to God and trust that He takes it all. Even then, you just want to control the situation and try to put a band-aid on it. Alot of the times I try to talk it out with friends. But it never fixes the problem.
Sometimes I just want to run. I know it wont erase the past, but it makes the future brighter. There is a place I want to go. I know the family loves me, and I would be living with my best friend. In complete honesty the only thing holding me back from picking up and going is not having a source of income there to pay a cell phone bill. Maybe it would be a good challenge to see if I could go without a cell phone until I found a job. This place is like a second home, I'm so comfortable because its just filled with the love of God. And the amount that I would grow at that place is indescribable.
Overwhelmed. I guess thats the final description I will use for this crazyness. When all these emotions collide it would cause any normal person to go insane. But what I'm realizing is that I'm not like any other person. I am set apart, made special by God. I think that alot of the things that I have thought as just a part of life are actually a part of God's plan for my life. Like this vioce I have when I sing. I know it has the power to make people cry, and I'm still slightly afraid to use it because I don't want to see me cause anyone pain. Maybe they cry because the beauty of it.. I dont know. Now it really sounds like I'm boasting.. thats not my point. What I am trying to say.. trying.. is that I am amazed now with things that I thought were insignificant in the past.
This singing predicament is a whole other thing on my mind. It feels like the more comfortable I get with singing in front of people, the better it gets! I can only credit that to God for blessing me. But how am I supposed to use it? I mean now I am singing in church, writing my own songs. But where do I go? I have a friend who wants to record me, but then what would I do with it?
So many questions and the only anwers I'm getting seem to come from my head. Why is it I feel like I cant hear God talking? I mean I pray and I worship and I try to listen but still no signs, visions, prophecies. Maybe my heart is just to cluttered with junk.
I am making my goal to rearrange priorities in my life. Get things straightened out, and purify my heart so that I am open to hearing God.
Wow, this was a long rant/explanation/ whatever you would call this. I guess things just make sense to you when you get it out. Its bedtime. Typing all this out put me in a really good mood. I should do this more often.
Ha ha ha.. I love God.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Photoshop 101
So Ive recently gone one a phot taking spree. I realized that I absolutely love to take pictures. The world that God created is just so breathtaking. Even in this small town I am confined to (until I aquire a vehicle) there are so many awesome spots to take pictures. There are definately more to come. I want to go out with my friends and take some pretty sweet fall pics. That means you Sarah and Sammie.
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